


Sexting the Captain’s Future Boyfriend

by damianwayne



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, M/M, i guess the rating is T/M bc there are nudes of oikawa, mattsun and makki are assholes but also kinda not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 13:58:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7717489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damianwayne/pseuds/damianwayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Oikawa forgets his phone in the locker room, Matsukawa and Hanamaki decide to start sexting Ushijima disguised as Oikawa, because they're sure their captain <i>totally </i>has a thing for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexting the Captain’s Future Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> for the ushioi squad , thanks for giving me this idea

“Mattsun, I can’t believe you lost your keys,” Hanamaki complained. They could’ve gone home a long time ago, nobody else was in the locker room anymore, all of them have already left a long time ago.

“You could help me searching,” Matsukawa suggests.

“Eh,” Hanamaki says and shrugs, looking down at his phone again. He continues playing Candy Crush, until he hears the rustling noise of the keychains and looks up.

“Aw, shit! I found them!” Matsukawa shouts and grins widely.

“Good, we can finally go then.”

“No, look,” Matsukawa holds up something else. “Guess what I found too.”

It’s a phone, a white iPhone 5 (Oikawa hasn’t upgraded to the new one yet) with a baby blue phone case. “Shit,” Hanamaki murmurs. They stare at each other and without having to exchange any more words, they know what the other is thinking.

“Do you know Oikawa’s PIN?” Matsukawa asks.

“Shit, no. It can’t be hard, right? He’s full of himself.”

“It’s his birthday,” Matsukawa decides and types in 0720. It doesn’t work, so he tries with 2007, but that doesn’t work either.

“Maybe 1111?” Hanamaki guesses, “since his jersey is the number one.”

“Good one,” his friend says and types in the numbers. The phone vibrates again and they don’t get in. “Shit.”

“I know!” Hanamaki screams. “Try 1308!”

“Why?”

“That’s Ushiwaka’s birthday.”

“Why the hell do you know that?” Matsukawa asks, but he types in the number and the phone unlocks. “Holy shit.”

“Here we have proof,” Hanamaki says, “he has a thing for the farmer.”

“I can’t wait until I see him tomorrow,” Matsukawa says, grinning. Hanamaki has to agree. They’ve all always suspected that Oikawa likes Ushijima, even if he denies it all the time. Now they have actual proof.

“You know what we should do?” Hanamaki whispers and Matsukawa grins.

“Dude, I love you,” Matsukawa says. He clicks on ‘LINE’ and then on Ushijima’s name. They’re both not surprised that Oikawa has his number. “Okay, what should I write?”

Hanamaki takes the phone out of his hands. When Matsukawa asks him, what he’s doing, Hanamaki just smirks and holds up his hand before handing the phone back to his best friend. “I’m doing god’s work.”

Matsukawa stares at the screen and laughs. “Shit. No, _we’re_ doing god’s work.”

* * *

 

Ushijima is alone in his dorm, doing his homework, when suddenly his phone vibrates. He must have forgotten to silence it, because he usually does when he has to do homework. He wants to turn it off, but it would be rude to not look at the message first, so he picks up his phone.

It’s a message from Oikawa. He’s surprised, of course, Oikawa never messages him. Ushijima is curious, but also excited. He unlocks his phone faster than ever before and clicks on the message.

His pen drops. So does his jaw probably, as he sees the message. He swallows hard as he sees the picture Oikawa sent him. It’s just him in front of a mirror, smiling that smile Ushijima has seen so many times. Sadly, it has never been directed at him before. Ushijima wants to, it’s a nice smile.

He is looking into a mirror, holding up his phone and he looks gorgeous, even in the weird neon light of the bathroom. He is wearing an oversized white T-shirt and Ushijima wonders where he got it from. It’s way too big for Oikawa, probably even bigger than Ushijima’s shirts. It falls off his shoulder, exposing more of his pale skin. 

Ushijima has the need to touch his naked skin, that slender neck and the exposed collar bone. He doesn’t know what to reply and he can’t stop staring.

 

> _like what you see ;)?_

Ushijima furrows his brows, but he decides to just reply.

 

>   _You look good, Oikawa._

He should probably just go back to doing his homework and tell him he’s busy, but Oikawa replies immediately.

 

> _do u wanna see more?_

> _More of what?_

* * *

 

“More of what,” Matsukawa reads out loud, “god. _More of what_. Is he fucking dense?”

“It’s Ushiwaka,” Hanamaki says and shrugs. “You have to be clearer.”

“Be clearer with another selfie?”

“God, yes. Can you believe Oikawa has all of these on his phone?”

“Actually, yeah. I can. It’s Oikawa, duh.”

Hanamaki laughs. He could only agree with his friend. “Is it bad we’re looking at his nudes?”

“We see each other naked like all the time,” Matsukawa says, “no biggie.” He sends another picture to Ushijima, this time it has Oikawa lifting up that white shirt, holding it between his lips and revealing his abs underneath it with a seductive expression on his face.

“What do you think?” Hanamaki asks, while Matsukawa writes a text.

“About what?”

“About Oikawa’s selfies.”

“They’re hot.” Matsukawa grins. “Wanna take some for me too?”

“Nah.”

“Pity. Oh, Ushiwaka replied.” Then, he stops walking and clutches his stomach, starting to laugh.

“What is it?” Hanamaki asks, but Matsukawa can’t reply, he just laughs more and hands his friend the phone.

> _Is it too hot where you are?_

“He sounds… shit, he just sounds so fucking concerned,” Matsukawa cries between his laughter and Hanamaki can’t help but laugh too.

“I’m gonna reply.”

“Shit, what are you writing?”

“ _Yes, Ushiwaka, you should take those clothes off for me,_ ” Hanamaki reads out loud and Matsukawa leans against the wall and laughs more.

“Shit, you’re a genius.”

“I know.” Hanamaki hands back the phone. “Who did Oikawa even take those pictures for?”

“You know who. Himself probably. Jacks off to his own image. That, or for Ushiwaka. So basically, we’re not doing anything wrong.”

“And even if not, would you care?” Hanamaki teases and Matsukawa grins.

“You know me too well, dude. Oh, he replied. ‘ _I am sure you’re capable of undressing yourself, Oikawa._ ’ Shit, if Oikawa would be here he’d be offended as fuck.”

“Write back ‘ _Yes, you’re totally right_ ’ and then send another selfie!” Hanamaki shouts.

Matsukawa nods and hums in agreement as he does exactly as his friend told him to. Another picture is sent with a shirtless Oikawa in front of the mirror, winking into the camera. 

“Ushiwaka is probably going to reply something completely blunt again,” Hanamaki says.

Matsukawa snorts. “ _You could catch a cold_. I’d look into the camera like I’m on the office right now if I could.”

“Dude, honestly. Me too. How much more hints do we need to send?” Hanamaki groans. “Maybe if we send a dick pic.”

“On a scale from 1 to 10, how much will Oikawa kill us?” Matsukawa asks.

“I think it’s a seven. We’re alright, but we died.”

“Matsukawa and Hanamaki found dead in Miami,” Matsukawa jokes and sends another picture.

* * *

 

 Ushijima blinks when he sees the next picture.

It’s not in front of the mirror anymore, instead it’s Oikawa on the bed, his body sprawled out, still shirtless. His thumb is hooked into his underwear, dragging it a little bit down. Ushijima can see the outline of his dick through the tight light grey briefs and he feels his cheeks heating up.

 

> _if i do u can cure me back to health ushiwaka ;)_

He has no idea what to text back. Is Oikawa like this with everyone? Is that normal for him? Ushijima thought Oikawa dislikes him. His fingers hover over the touchscreen.

Before he can type anything, another message pops up on his screen.

 

> _send me a picture of u if u wanna see more_

Ushijima does want to see more so he clicks on the camera and takes a picture of himself. He doesn’t really know how to use the front camera, so he uses the one on the back. Unfortunately, the picture looks horrible. Blurry and only shows half of Ushijima’s face, the other half of the picture is just the white wall behind him. It’s also way too close, but he sends it anyway.

* * *

 

“Oh my god,” Hanamaki groans. “What the fuck. Ushiwaka is like the worst sexter ever. I’d never get it up for him.”

“I bet Oikawa would. Oh yes, look at that blur, mmh,” Matsukawa moans jokingly and Hanamaki laughs. They almost arrived Matsukawa’s home by now, could even see it from afar.

“Well, we promised him we’d show him more for a picture,” Hanamaki says, “and he _did_ deliver.”

“True.” Matsukawa grins and sends the next, more revealing picture. “Shit, you sure you don’t wanna take pictures like these for me?”

“You can take them for me,” Hanamaki suggests, shrugging.

“Boi,” Matsukawa breathes out. “Like this?” He shows Hanamaki the one he just sent of Oikawa. The camera is angled awkwardly, but of course he still looks good, because it’s Oikawa. Knees bent, showing his milky legs and the hardness between them, since he also took off his briefs.

“Oikawa is going to kill us,” Hanamaki replies, “but yeah. Like that.”

“Now?”

“Not now, we’re sexting with our captain’s future boyfriend.”

“Look, at this point this boy doesn’t even get what the fuck sexting is,” Matsukawa points out, “we need to help out a little bit more than just like this.”

“Ask him out on a date.”

“No, that’s out of character,” Matsukawa says.

Hanamaki takes the phone and types the next message.

 

> _now that u've seen my dick, ushiwaka i expect u to take me out for a date at least!_

“That’s how Oikawa would flirt,” Hanamaki says. “Right?”

“Totally.”

 

>   
>  _I would love to,_ Ushijima replies.

>   
>  _m_ _eet me tomorrow after school at the gate! dont forget flowers_

Hanamaki and Matsukawa grin and high five each other when they finally arrive at Matsukawa’s home. 

“So… about the pictures,” Matsukawa begins.

“Dicks out for Harambe,” Hanamaki jokes.

“I’m no gorilla.”

Hanamaki tilts his head and smirks. “Really?”

* * *

 

Ushijima is waiting in front of the gate for Oikawa, but instead of Oikawa approaching him, two other players from Aoba Johsai do.

“Hey, Ushiwaka,” the taller one says. Ushijima doesn’t remember his name anymore, he only really ever cared about Oikawa. And Iwaizumi, because he is Oikawa’s best friend. “You’re meeting up with Oikawa later, right?”

“Yes, that is the plan.”

“Nice flowers,” the other guy comments and looks at the bouquet of flowers. Ushijima looks at it.

“Thank you.” He spent a long time choosing them. 

“Oikawa forgot his phone, can you give it to him when you see him later?” one of them asks and hands him Oikawa’s phone.

“Of course.”

“Nice. Okay, see you later, Ushiwaka!” They wave at him before walking away, both laughing about something. Ushijima doesn’t know what’s so funny, but he shrugs it off.

When he spots Oikawa, he’s alone. 

“Ushiwaka? What are you doing here?” Oikawa asks, when he sees him. His eyes are wide open and then his gaze drops to the flowers. “Why do you have flowers? And is that- is that my _phone_?!”

Oikawa grabs it out of Ushijima’s hands. “Where did you find it? I searched for it!”

“Two members of your team gave it to me,” Ushijima explains.

“Mattsun and Makki probably,” Oikawa mutters. “What are you doing here?”

“You said I should take you out on a date.”

Oikawa blinks and then his mouth falls open. There’s a faint blush creeping up on his cheeks, which Ushijima thinks is cute. “What?”

“Yesterday.”

“When did I- Oh.” Oikawa holds up his hand. “Wait.” He unlocks his phone and looks at it. Ushijima waits patiently, while Oikawa checks his phone, reading the conversation they had yesterday. “Oh my god.”

“What is it?”

“I’m going to _kill_ them!” Oikawa’s face is completely red by now.

“Why?”

“Ushiwaka! That wasn’t me! They- I didn’t text you that. I forgot my phone in the locker room yesterday. Mattsun and Makki were texting you. Oh my god.” 

“Oh.” Ushijima drops his flowers. He doesn’t know what he expected, but definitely not this. “So, you don’t want to go on a date with me.”

“I- _What_?”

“I’m here to pick you up for a date, Oikawa.”

“Yeah, because you saw my dick. Oh god, that is so embarrassing.” Oikawa hides his face with his hands.

“I’m sorry. They shouldn’t have done that. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have replied,” Ushijima apologizes. “You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

_“You saw my dick.”_

“It’s a nice-”

Oikawa puts his hand over Ushijima’s mouth to shut him up. “Please, Ushiwaka, don’t say anything more.” His gaze drops to the flowers. “Are those for me?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa takes a deep breath. “You really want to go out on a date with me, Ushiwaka?”

“That is the plan, yes.”

Oikawa takes the flowers and looks away. “Okay. But don’t expect me to send those pictures ever again.”

“Of course not.”

“And if I do, please don’t send a picture like that one again. That’s not how sexting works,” Oikawa says.

“What is sexting?”

Oikawa groans. “I’ll explain you some other time,” he says. “For now, let’s just go on the date.”

**Author's Note:**

> listen i cant believe i wrote "dicks out for harambe" in a fic


End file.
